Can you count?

mama received the flowers at 7 this morning. i was still asleep that's why papa put it in my room. then when i woke up, surprise!!!!! there's the heart-shaped basket full of red and white roses. i tried  to count all. cesar said it's 5 dozen, but i guess it's over 60 roses.

as well, i can't measure the love cesar has for me. it's countless, it's continuing and overflowing. and i will not love him less no matter what, it's unconditional and it's my commitment.

maraming salamat, dy! mahal na mahal kita.

woMAN

repost..

----------------------------------------------------

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy because she thinks she's stronger than you

Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her what's wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you

she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

don't look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

- Let her know she's important.

- Don't talk about other girls around her

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:

"Whose butt am i kicking baby?"

I am sad

because i am missing him. i need to make myself busy. i texted lirio. if she and kuya archie with asaph are going to the hotair balloon festival today, i am going with them. and tomorrow, i will spend my valentines at church. i am attending the orientation for the kids ministry from 10am to 1pm and then the 3pm service. i don't know where i am going afterwards. perhaps i will treat myself a massage. then i will buy flowers for mama. and that's it!

malungkot ako na may halong tampo.

Piece of Cake

almost a week that i don't see my eldest brother at home. mama said that he's busy editing the film of his friend (kuya is a freelance filmmaker by the way, and i admire his craft as well as his passion for good quality film). yesterday he went home and yesterday was sweet when kuya asked me if i have taken my dinner yet. i said no and i just came home from work. when he went back to my room, he's holding a fork and a piece of cake from banapple. i was touched. kuya has changed..he is more sweet now. he used to make lambing to mama, now his sweetness extends to his only sister :-) i have noticed this change since he met his one and only coreen. naks!

salamat sa pasalubong, kuya!

Alchemist

my day at work ended with an inspiring message from Ms Tu, one of the AP managers in houston. i'd want to repost this so i can read back and remind me of the real alchemist.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The medieval alchemist spent his lifetime trying to learn the secrets of turning ordinary base metals into gold. Much time and great fortunes were spent in this pursuit, to no avail. Medieval alchemy failed because its practitioners were looking in the wrong direction.

The real alchemist is one who learns the secret of turning everyday situations into gold, who learns how to make every situation serve him. Problems and difficulties can be used as a springboard to deeper insight, and the real alchemist understands that there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.

Nothing happens by chance. We are a part of a universe that is forever giving us definite messages and signals, often in the form of problems. It is not an accident or coincidence that a particular problem is happening to you at any given point in your life; our difficulties are signposts waiting to be read. If you always feel sorry for yourself or helpless when a problem comes your way, you'll miss the important messages it brings you.

Get Well Soon

i am still feeling under the weather. what's happening with my system? please, please go back to normal. promise, will have a check-up tomorrow. praying that the doctor will give the best medication so i will feel better soon.

thanks ma for the tender loving care.

edit: woke up early on tuesday morning. salamat, dy for the wake-up call! i had my check-up with dra lupisan instead. she is our family doctor since we were little...3 meds that i need to take. ang mahal ng gamot! but worth it naman, gagaling na ko soon :-) i hope i could reimburse the medical expenses from my employer. wishful thinking lang naman.

Photo booth

i can't sleep!! good that i chance upon an application which can create artistic effect on photos. i tried it using our pictures. pampaantok lang hihi..they say "pag magkamukha raw, nagkakatuluyan." and many say that cesar and i are look-alike. owwws?? let's see :-)

nararamdaman  ko na ang antok...good night!! i mean, good morning!!!

Light Moments

with cesar

pam: dy, are you ready for the everyday life with me?
cesar: yes my. meron na tayo tv, di ka na maiinip. meron na rin internet, makapag-apply ka na ng work.

looks like ready na nga. ahihi :-)

with jasmine

(during lunch break, we are talking about career)
pam: nung bata ako, pangarap ko maging cashier. ang taas ng pangarap ko noh?!
jasmine: ako nga nung bata ako, pangarap ko maging katulong. minsan nga bigla ko na lang nasabi, "mag-apply kaya akong city service."

hehe!! tinalo mo ang pangarap ko, jas! i heart you! nakakawala ng stress :-)

Overtime

return the favor! ghe just approached me and ask if i can assist the night shifter until 5am today. i said yes! since ayoko rin naman umuwi at para tulog ako buong araw ng sabado.

so, what to do to keep me awake:

1. facebooking?

2. chatting? kanino naman at sinong gising??

3. blogging? pwede!

4. eating? no way!!

5. coffee?? but i promise myself no starbucks for the month of feb. i will keep it!

kaya ko to! Lord, give me strength. sana wala masyadong issues..yahoo!! happy 3rd to me!!

edit: i made it! from 12-1am, had goto and tofu for lunch at chowking. 1-2am, naki-go live celebration with AP brazil and canada. 2-4am, assisted tsang pilits aka "carmen soooo" with the inquiries. 4-5am, i forgot what i did! haha! what i could remember is that hilo na ko sa antok. thanks lord for the strength and for the safety going home..and for the 5 hours ot pay :-)

How

to celebrate a monthsary when you are far away from each other?......alone. yes, i feel alone. was expecting (with excitement) to have a longer conversation via messenger but....i guess i was not the priority.

edit: i am blessed to have a partner who is so kind and sweet in his own way. you made my day, dy.

Daily Goals

starting today, i will

- take multivitamins again.
- drink plenty of water (and less soda).
- eat less rice. wohoo!!
- think of more happy thoughts.
- and always be thankful.

cheers to healthy and good life!

Meet My Niece

danielle anne, full scholar of Philippine Science High School and a consistent Director's Lister. no wonder as my cousin (from father's side) and his wife are both UP graduates.

kuya B shared danielle's homework which she wrote for less than an hour. very good job!! i am so proud of you, danielle!

Margaret

by Danielle Anne

Back when I was six, my godmother, Aunt Jen, gave me a tiny rag doll which I named Margaret. Margaret had brown hair, black eyes, and a button nose. These features stood out against her lilac dress and pink Mary Janes. I loved Margaret so much that I took her everywhere I went. Margaret became my accessory, and I was barely seen without her.

One day, I went to play with Diane, the little girl next door. We played for a few minutes then Diane excused herself for she had something to show me. I was astounded the moment she presented me her limited edition Pokemon gold coins. Envy and astonishment filled me, so I hugged Margaret tightly. As if Diane read my mind, she eyed my Margaret and told me “You like my coins, right? I’ll gladly trade them for your doll”. My eyes widened, my mouth opened. The limited edition coins, which I only see in the Western magazines my grandma sent us, soon to be mine in exchange for my doll. “I’m waiting for your response,” Diane muttered “or I might change my mind”.

The butterflies in my tummy started to flutter. If I agree, I lose my friend whom I loved dearly, but I get the pride of possessing the coins and the fulfillment of my desire. If I do not, I keep Margaret but the emptiness in my soul will be left, well, empty. “I don’t have forever,” Diane stammered.
I meant to say “No thank you, I’ll just go home with Margaret. Goodbye,” but instead I said “Fine, the doll’s all yours!”, handed her Margaret, and took the coins. So I went home with a big smile and a handful of coins. They’re finally mine! From this moment, my life’s complete!

Or at least I thought. That night, after mom kissed me goodnight, I stretched out an arm to grab Margaret. Then I remembered I gave her away. I realized sleeping without her beside me is agonizing, adding the fact that it was my decision. The next day, I tried to return the coins and ask for Margaret. The attempt did no good. I sat on a corner and suddenly felt my doll’s loss. Margaret, whom I embraced every time I go to sleep, whom I spent the good and bad times with, whom I loved so much, is gone. I wept softly as I recalled the moments I shared with Margaret.

Now, the memory of the trade still haunts me. Though, it taught me a valuable lesson: Think twice before acting.

I Speak Healing

in His Name..

- last last sunday, i cannot get up sa sobrang hilo. this made me cry because i feel so crappy.
- until now i still have colds. it's two weeks already that i could hardly breathe.
- headache. perhaps dahil sa sipon na ayaw lumabas.
- swollen left eye. mama and i went to st lukes hospital last friday. first time that i use my maxicare card. the doctor just asked me some questions and checked my left eye then gave me the medication. the check-up was done in less than 10 minutes! he didn't even told me of the cause. my bad that i did not ask.
- dysmenorrhea. well, this is not new to my system. and today is the first day of my monthly period.

i will schedule another check-up this week and a vacation leave. i deserve and need rest.

"i claim healing to all my sickness. i pray for a healthy 2010. amen."

Seldom

that i talk about how i feel. much as i wanted to be more transparent but i am not that good at expressing my emotions and i am afraid that i might be misunderstood.

i've tried..as the result was undesirable, well, i guess i'll just keep it to myself.

''tay, mold me. i know that it is not an overnight process. i fail still. i am your work in progress..salamat that i can cry out to you and that you never give up on me though most of the time i am stubborn. thank you for loving me 'tay as i am. amen."

The Beach and The Sunset

Carla (Rica) Peralejo and Joe Bonifacio's Same Day Edit from Jason Magbanua on Vimeo.


i cried when i saw the video. the exchange of vows was lovely. i am not personally related to them but we're in one spiritual family. i am so blessed with their story and was inspired by their wedding - the beach and the sunset.

when cesar proposed marriage in boracay at 17:55, it has given the beach and the sunset a different meaning.

the beach - crossing over to the other side. before i entered into a romantic relationship with him, i had my quiet moment with the lord, a one on one talk with my tatay in heaven. that was during my vacation in sydney. after i took breakfast, i sat at the veranda and with me are my bible and my ever reliable ipod nano. "is this where you want me to be? what about my career? my future?" and the questioning goes on. here's the word that i received from him in the morning of oct 7: "never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." then he reminded me of jeremiah 29:11 "for i know the plans i have for you, says the lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." on that day, i knew what the answer is..when i said yes to cesar, it means "yes, i am ready to follow his will. i am ready to go over to the other side taking God as the captain of our ship."

the sunset - it is time...to leave singlehood (which i truly enjoyed!) and moved on to the next level of maturity. a reminder that everyday is passing, that when the sun sets it means that another day is about to begin. a new hope and another day to trust God. and it also means that we are getting closer to the day of the fulfillment of his promises.